Making a banner ad? Try proofreading — part 2!

It happened once, but I never thought it would happen again. Surfing along this afternoon, ignoring advertisements as per usual, the little editor inside jumped up and directed my eyes to a horrific sight. There, shining in my face, was a banner ad someone created and paid someone else to display on their website. Money changed hands, folks, yet what did I see? A wholly unrecognizable word carved and set in pixels on my screen: medival.

Now, you would assume that if a studio took the time to create, maintain and market their MMORPG (er, MMRPG, as the banner so eloquently states), they would bother to spell check their work before putting it out for the world to heckle. Especially if the word was as pivotal as medieval, a single collection of letters that summarizes what countless programmers and artists have been working on for months on end. But no, instead it’s been decided to just shove it out the door. Who bothers to read text in an RPG, anyway?

I checked the Dark Warriors website and no mention of “medival” (or even “medieval”) exists. They got lucky. I won’t dare try the game, as if this is the amount of effort they put into their banner text, could I expect the same sloppy attention to detail throughout? Sure, this typo was probably an innocent mistake, or maybe the banner was made by someone whose English is a second or third language. And to be fair, medieval is one of those trickier words to spell. But hey… wouldn’t it have been so much easier just to spell the word correctly? Then I wouldn’t be sitting here rolling my eyes and giggling under my breath at you.

Of course, I also wouldn’t have written this article… Hmm…

BigFishGames Mothers’ Day sale

With another holiday comes another casual games sale, and Mothers’ Day is a prime time for downloadable diversions. BigFishGames is featuring a 40% off sale on all downloads for both Windows and Mac through May 16. Build-a-lot 2, Westward II, Virtual Villagers, and dozens more games on the cheap. Browse around, find something you like, then buy it… for mom, of course…

Shacknews presents EarthBotched: A History of Nintendo vs. Starmen

With the recent discovery of EarthBound on the ESRB website for a potential Wii Virtual Console release, the game has found itself thrust into the mainstream spotlight once again. To many the name means next to nothing, little more than a quirky RPG released a dozen years ago that was a translation of the second game of a Japanese trilogy. Big whoop. But to an extremely devout group of fans (myself included), EarthBound is so much more. Despite herculian efforts from fans largely led by Starmen.net, Nintendo has denied us any scrap of EarthBound goodness for years.

Shacknews feels the pain. Today a three page article was published chronicling the epic saga of Nintendo vs. Starmen.net. The oldest and most vocal EarthBound fansite has mounted some impressive campaigns over the years, yet Nintendo still chooses to avoid the cries of the fans. Check out the Shacknews article, and for the love of all that is good in this world, find yourself a copy of EarthBound and play it. You won’t regret it.

Zero Punctuation mailbag showdown

Zero Punctuation, The Escapist’s weekly video review as performed by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw, finally featured Super Smash Bros. Brawl a few weeks back, answering the call of countless rabid fan e-mails. Ben agreed, sat down with the game, then proceeded to… well, review it. He didn’t like it so much (note: understatement), which of course incited countless more rabid fan e-mails. So this week Zero Punctuation fights back, foregoing a game review in favor of “answering” some “fan” mail. The results are below, and yes, there’s foul language. Lock the kids in the garage.

Cutting and eating fruit for geeks

This is totally non-gaming-related, but it’s still a bit geeky, and I have a thing for good food. From doing my time working in produce departments I learned one startling fact about humans in general: they have no idea what to do with fruit. A few of the most common questions include: Is this ripe? How can you tell? How do you eat these? Can you cut it for me? Sure, and would you like me to remind you how to breathe while I’m at it? You don’t have to buy dead, pre-packaged fruit, just head over to the bright and shiny produce department and load up on the good stuff. Then, grab yourself a good knife and get ready to amaze yourself and your friends.

Watermelons are yum, but the whole seed spitting is a nuisance. What’s the modern-day enlightened geek to do? Cut the melon along its seed line, then scoop off the seeds and dig in. By the way, getting seedless watermelons is cheating. Only the elderly and communists do that. You don’t want to be either of those, do you?

Avocados are equally scrumptious. Unfortunately I’ve seen dozens of people fumble with these things as if they were a Rubik’s cube. Relax. Just take a knife (it doesn’t even have to be a sharp one), circle the fruit longwise, then pop it open. This video shows you how to cut and dice an avocado.

Pineapples look scary, but they easily fall to the power of a good knife. Forget about that canned garbage, simply grab a ripe pineapple, chop the ends off, skin, chop and core it and you’re practically good to go. HowToCutAPineapple.com shows you even more.

Mangoes foil even practiced fruit eaters, as these tricky things seem to be more stone than actual food. The solution? Just chop around it, and it’s amazingly easy to do.

EarthBound heading to Wii Virtual Console?

Recently news hit the ‘net that the ESRB’s website lists the greatest RPG ever known to man, EarthBound (sorry, Chrono Trigger, you were a close second), as an upcoming Virtual Console title. Practically every gaming news blog printed the story, which is a testament to just how popular this “not-so-popular” (according to Nintendo) game is.

But along with the buzzing excitement came the cold voice of cynicism. A listing on the ESRB website doesn’t mean a game is going to appear on the Wii VC. And as excited I am to even be able to hope for the best, Nintendo’s rather narrow attitude towards bringing this series to North America has taught me better.

Yes, I would buy any EarthBound on the Virtual Console, on the Wii, on the DS, the Game Boy Advance. I still own the original cart, have played the fan translated EarthBound 0, and am twiddling my thumbs waiting for those talented and soon to be worshipped people to finish the translation of Mother 3. We’re waiting, Nintendo.